Fat From the Side.

Fact: I am at my heaviest.

I don’t weigh myself, but I know my body. It’s a body I’ve spent a lot of time examining. From years of dieting and eating disorders, to my journey of self love and acceptance — yes, I’ve spent a LOT of time with my body. I know what it looks and feels like when I’ve gained only 5lbs. My body is handy in that my weight always goes straight for my belly, so it’s easily noticeable. I am at my heaviest. And my body is showing it.

Being a prominent face in the Fat Acceptance community means that sometimes you feel like you can’t feel weird about your body. But, the fact is, right now, I feel weird about my body. I certainly don’t hate my body. I very much love it as much as I possibly could.  But it’s weird right now. It’s weird to look at a photo of your body and have it not be the body you’re used to having. Which is what I’m dealing with recently. It’s weird to look at a photo and think, “what a beautiful body !”, without the connection that it is my own.

My body has changed. And with that change, comes a new stage of acceptance. This is the way my body looks now. It’s the not way it looked in January. It’s not the way it looked in June. It’s the way it looks right now. And right now is what I’m living. And right now, this angle of my body is a part of me, and it’s beginning to sink in. And the more I look at it, the more I fall in love with it.

<3 Kyla